...when an initiated member of the community registers communication thru pain, it is a signal that the soul is in need of some communion with its spiritual counterpart. In other words, the soul is moving old furniture out and bringing in new furniture. Whether that eventually works out well is another question. We do not always allow ourselves to work through pain. More often than not, we think pain is a signal that we must stop, rather than find its source. Our souls do not like stagnation. Our souls aspire towards growth, that is, toward remembering all that we have forgotten due to our trip to this place, the earth. In this context, a body in pain is a soul in longing. To shut down the pain is to override the call of the soul. When this happens it is a repressive measure taken against oneself, which has somber consequences.
Is it possible then to say that pain is good, primarily because it is a call to growth? The Digara elders would say yes. They believe that a person who has suffered is a person who has heard pain. The person hears the pain as a creative action, connecting that person with his or her highest self, which prescribes an alternative to spiritual death. So pain at least teaches us something. It is commotion, e-motion and a call for rebirth. It teaches that one must return to a mode of living that began with life itself. And it draws from nature and the cosmos life-essence that seeks to align itself with the existing powers.
August 24, 2014
From 'Healing the Child Within' by Charles Whitfield
Some common parental conditions include extreme rigidity, extreme punitiveness, judgmentalness, perfectionism and a cold or non-loving relationship with children or other family members. The parents are inadequate to administer to the mental, emotional and spiritual needs of the child.
These states or conditions are often insidious, subtle or hidden. They may be difficult to recognize without some substantial recovery work in self-help groups, group therapy, individual counseling or in other forms of introspection by sharing with and listening to trusted others. Outwardly, these families are usually not viewed as being troubled or dysfunctional. Indeed, they are often viewed as being 'normal' or 'healthy.' pg. 35
Appeasing; 'Yes, but....' detaching from the feelings. "It happened, but....they (my parents) did their best." This approach to protecting our parents is a 'why bother' stance and prevents us from beginning necessary grief work & getting free of our suffering. pg 101
And even if we work for along time to discover and heal our Child Within, we may not be able to heal our differences with our parents. We come to the realization that we cannot fix them. They are the way they are, and nothing that we can do will change that. And so we let go.
For some people whose parents or others - such as actively alcoholic, violent or otherwise abusing person - are 'toxic' to them, it may be helpful to separate from them for a few months to a year, or more. Such separation or 'detoxification' period provides a space and a peace that will allow us to begin to discover and heal out Child Within. pg. 105-106
These states or conditions are often insidious, subtle or hidden. They may be difficult to recognize without some substantial recovery work in self-help groups, group therapy, individual counseling or in other forms of introspection by sharing with and listening to trusted others. Outwardly, these families are usually not viewed as being troubled or dysfunctional. Indeed, they are often viewed as being 'normal' or 'healthy.' pg. 35
Appeasing; 'Yes, but....' detaching from the feelings. "It happened, but....they (my parents) did their best." This approach to protecting our parents is a 'why bother' stance and prevents us from beginning necessary grief work & getting free of our suffering. pg 101
And even if we work for along time to discover and heal our Child Within, we may not be able to heal our differences with our parents. We come to the realization that we cannot fix them. They are the way they are, and nothing that we can do will change that. And so we let go.
For some people whose parents or others - such as actively alcoholic, violent or otherwise abusing person - are 'toxic' to them, it may be helpful to separate from them for a few months to a year, or more. Such separation or 'detoxification' period provides a space and a peace that will allow us to begin to discover and heal out Child Within. pg. 105-106
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