So, I'm starting over on this post, because I had over a paragraph typed and for some reason it highlighted and was removed. Fuck! So...as I originally was saying....Saturday evening after the l-o-n-g day on the mtn bike I was at home eating dinner and watching 'Person of Interest,' one of my favorite TV shows, when all of the sudden my throat started hurting really badly. I usually get a sore throat and headache when I'm catching a cold. The sore throat usually is just irritated initially, but this was a full blown extremely sore throat. It hurt a lot to swallow. I should've gone to Walgreen's to get some Nyquil, but I didn't want to go anywhere so I suffered that night....didn't sleep well. My throat hurt really badly. On Sunday, I went and got some Dayquil & Nyquil. That eased the symptoms. Now it has moved into my sinuses. I have no idea what the scoop is, but I haven't felt 100% for a few months now. I went to the Dr a month or so ago because I had a nagging sore throat. They took a culture, but it didn't show anything. On days when I'm not feeling well, I always wonder if I should work out or not. I didn't workout on Sunday, but I have since then. My rides and runs have been pretty pathetic tho. Today especially....no energy. When I don't feel well, I tend not to eat, so that could be part of it too. I'm getting a massage this evening....haven't had one since probably May, so that should stir all kinds of crap up in my system!
I have so much to write about today, I don't know where to start. Mr. MC, the mtn bike guy from Saturday, sent me an email and wants to ride this coming Saturday afternoon. I have no desire to be around him. I would, however, somehow like to get to know his friend, Cindy's friend, Tim that I met briefly - one of the kayakers! :) In our email correspondence before we (MC, this is) met, I had asked him quite a few questions that he never answered. I don't think I'm interested in someone like him....he seems controlling (which I detest) and cheap (plus, I think he lied about his age - liars are VERY low on my list, in fact, they don't make my list).
I've had a lot of physical issues the past few years. My left leg doesn't work correctly. My left hip flexor doesn't lift my leg or stabilize it. Consequently, my right foot/calf has to do a lot more work (the right foot is on the ground, when the left leg is being lifted to move it forward). I have told a gazillion (not really an exaggeration) PTs, Drs, DOs, massage therapists, acupuncturists, chiropractors, you name it and they all pretty much think I'm crazy. To look at me run or ride, you really can't tell (I don't think), but I have to work to make that leg work. It causes my left quad to have to work too hard, so it gets tired/fatigued too quickly. I try to relax 'into' that left side, but it is a mental battle. The minute I stop thinking about relaxing into it, the left side of my back and left arm tense up and try to 'help.' It's really frustrating. I have no idea what to do. I have probably run and biked like this my whole life and now that I'm more body aware (and have injuries related to it), I realize it and am trying to unravel years of patterning. I'm fairly certain this imbalance is what wreaked havoc on my right foot, calf and ankle and necessitated my ankle surgery. I'm determined to get it figured out tho. Maybe I need hypnotherapy or a lobotomy? Is this related to the time I crashed my bike (when I was really young) and had a concussion? The Dr said it was a mild concussion, but I was unconscious for hours! Did I see that wreck coming and brace myself on the left side? Or is it related to the incest trauma? Was my left side closest or somehow affected more? The left side is the feminine side.....does that play a role in all of this? Some thoughts I ponder.
I decided today that I need a vacation badly. I really haven't had one since I started working for myself 5 years ago. I never thought I could afford to take time off, because if I don't work I don't get paid, however, I really do need a break. Since my main client is having cash flow issues, maybe I'll sell my house and travel as I mentioned in another post. I'm disillusioned with the political scene too, tired of all kinds of stupidity that seems to be rampant and none of it really matters one iota in the big scheme of things.
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