Post #32 - Huh?

Post #32 - September 4,  2018

I met Jody (not her real name) a few months ago.   She's a massage therapist and myofascial release therapist (MFR) in Castle Rock.  She's also an ultra runner.  When I met her earlier this year, she was training for LT100.  She had DNF'd last year.  I saw her a few times for massage and we have run and hiked together.  I'm not sure when I will learn this lesson, but I always think people are self-aware.  Especially if they do body work.  Over the time Jody and I have known each other, she has shared personal information with me.  I am pretty open about the fact that I was incested, so that seems to open people up.  Last weekend, we planned to hike Pikes Peak via the NW route.  I drove to her house in Castle Rock and we drove to the TH together.  There have been so many inconsistencies in what she says.  Before LT100 this year, she told me this was the last time she was going to run the race, whether she finished or not.  When she dropped out (actually she missed the cutoff anyway) at Winfield, she was already talking about next year and whether maybe she should get a coach.  Then last weekend, when we were hiking Pikes Peak, she said the LT100 organizers offered her free coaching, because she's over 60 and they want a female over 60 to finish.  She told me she wasn't going to take them up on it, as she wanted to do it on her own.  Huh?  Then she was telling me that she has been doing back-to-back massage lately....finishing around 9:00 at night.  She's married and her marriage isn't very good.  She was complaining about how her husband came home Friday after work and went straight to his room (they sleep in separate rooms) and had the door shut.  She was saying that most married couples enjoy time together especially on Friday evenings.  So here she is, working until 9 or so each night and then complaining because he goes to his room and is listening to Youtube.  No double standard here?  He comes home at 5:30 or 6:00 every night and she's working, but now since it's Friday night, things should be different?  Huh?  She has been bitching about him for months to me.  I asked her on the drive home, what she would be doing and thinking about if she wasn't complaining about him.  She seemed to understand the question briefly, and then went back complaining about him.  I asked her how long the relationship had been the way it is and she said since 2000.....so EIGHTEEN YEARS!  WTF???  I asked her to think about her future self - 5 years from now.  Looking back to today, would she want to be in the same place?  What would she want to be different.  Then I said...how about a week from now, a month, a year?  After thinking about our conversation more, I'm not sure he's the one to blame.   I've found I can't trust what she says....she doesn't have facts straight (in regards to other things....not her marriage).  It takes 2 to tango and he's probably tired of her crap as well.  I listened to a really good podcast from Sounds True.  Tami Simon interviewed Terry Real, a marriage and family therapist.  Really good stuff.  Here's the link (which I sent to Jody as well).   He talks about operating from your adult self.

https://www.soundstrue.com/store/weeklywisdom?page=single&category=IATE&episode=13417

In some respects, I like Jody, however, the constant bitching, when she's not willing to make any changes (like fucking leave) is not what I want to be around.  I tend to have empathy for awhile.  Then if no changes are made, then I don't want to hear it anymore.  I always say, people come into our lives for a reason, so I'm curious as to why she has come into my life.