I met a man, KC, a couple of weeks ago. He was staying at a motel in Salida, CO and lives in OR. He was on vacation and was mountain biking. Not really mountain biking, he was e-biking. :( Anyway, he gave me his name and phone # and said if I was every in OR, to let him know and we could ride. I sent him a text a day or two later (he was on his way back to OR and was in UT). He and I sent text messages for about a week and then I called it quits. He's 62 years old, divorced twice. First marriage lasted 18 years, second marriage lasted 10 years and he 'hasn't been with a woman in 6 years.' He's been working on himself and has been enjoying being alone. He said he realized he was codependent and a love addict. He bitched about both of his ex-wives. The first one had an affair. Second wife was younger (not sure how much younger). He has one daughter from his first marriage. She's 28 and lives in Portland.
I sent him the Hozier 'Francesca' song via a YouTube link as he was getting ready to drive to OR from UT. I told him he could put it on repeat (I love this song). He took that to mean I was REALLY into music, so as he was driving back to OR, he texted me Spotify links to 32 (!) songs. I was working that day and it was a bit overwhelming. I realized I didn't need to listen to them right then or ever for that matter. And still haven't listened to most of them. When I mentioned to him that he had sent me a lot of songs, his reply was 'Yes I did!! You're worth that and more :)' Seriously? Love bombing? This was 3 days after I texted him. Could he really know me? I don't think so.
The first red flag was that he told me he didn't care if trails were open to e-bikes or not. He rode them anyway. He sent me a copy of a letter he wrote to the editor of a newspaper in OR. He wrote that he had had prostate cancer and e-biking allowed him to ride trails that he couldn't ride now. I know two other men (whom have a lot of similarities with KC) who mountain biked before prostate cancer and are mountain biking after - and NOT on e-bikes. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who are 'entitled' and break the law because of it. He also smokes weed and drives while high. In what universe is this ok?
Here are the red flags:
- Said 'Full Disclosure' in text messages multiple times.
- Smokes marijuana and drives high.
- Spoke on the phone with him for 3 1/2 hours. I talked for probably 30 minutes of that.
- Sent me probably 40 songs from Spotify via text. Said I was worth that and more.
- Told him what days I have off and then he asks me what fun I'm doing on Sunday. Obviously, didn't pay attention - even tho I did a longish mountain bike ride on Thursday - 2 days before Sunday.
- Couldn't remember what type of prostate cancer surgery he had? Who forgets something like that?
- Entitled - rides e-bikes on trails no authorized for their use.
- Wouldn't stop talking on the phone, even tho I said I needed to get ready for work. Kept talking for another 10 minutes.
- Said I told him I was an ultra runner. I didn't. I don't tell hardly anyone that. He googled me and saw I was. I did tell him I was formerly a long distance runner. If I told him I was an ultra runner why did he ask me if I was an ultra runner? Gaslighting.
- Never asked me about ultra running/ Not what races I ran, nothing. Asked me nothing about my van.
- Mainly it was him getting info about me that would fit his world. He just wanted someone to do things with - ride - who cares if I want someone who does things I want.
- I sent him a link to a podcast that I enjoy. He said he doesn't listen to podcasts. Way to give it a try, ass hole.
- He wanted to ask me about yoga (I'm certified). Thom Hanna also asked me about that (before I was certified) and got all into yoga.
- Talked and complained about both of his ex-wives. (Thom & Rick did as well).
- The similarities between him, Thom and Rick are uncanny. - Love bombing, all three think they're self aware, emotionally intelligent. All three wanted pity and sympathy because of what their ex-wives had done to them. Thom had been married 31 years, Rick was married 20 years, then 5 years, Ken was married 18 years, then 10 years. Rick and Ken's first wives cheated on them. All three are liars.
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